Release Page 3

  Jovil directed his instructions across the top of the heads of her fellows who waited patiently along the tunnel. Their eye-lights all flickered bright lights back at him from the darkness.

  We all look like bats in here! Why can’t we have the animal eyes? The ones with circular pupils that don’t flash! Like my dream male across the river!

  The thought came into her head in a flash, leaving no time to hide it. The sound of sniggering from the line behind her made her flinch. The ones near the front must have heard her deeper thoughts.

  Jovil didn’t turn around but carried walking into the darkness ahead. She could only just make out his hand beckoning for her to follow him.

  “Careful as you go Tiegal. There can be some tricky gaps to navigate in this cave. It is fortunate that our eye-lights help us to see in darkness,” he commented, without turning around to face her.

  Tiegal bit her lip in frustration. Now she had managed to insult the lagoon master with this inability of hers to hide her deeper thoughts.

  She stopped in her tracks, closed her eyes, and counted down from ten to zero, inhaling and exhaling with care, as Rinzal and Zeno had both taught her.

  “Have you always struggled with compartmentalising your thoughts?”

  The sound of Jovils’ deep voice close to her, so near that she could smell his essence - coconut, orange, and bonfire - startled her. She swung around to check how far they had moved away from the tunnel and shivered when she realized that it was just her and the lagoon master in the deeper parts of this ancient cave. She had never been inside such darkness before.

  Flashing her eyes to the side of her, she made use of their torch effect and grabbed hold of a protruding stalactite to steady her balance. Its wet, frigid texture made her flinch.

  “Erm, I guess I have, yes. I’m working on it though,” she eventually answered him. It was a shaky whisper.

  “I see. And what else have you found a struggle so far?” he probed further.

  “I’m not sure what you mean?” she replied, aware that each of her words sounded like clipped responses from automated voices.

  “I think you do. You’re easy to read. For example, I know that you think about your dreams all the time. You believe them to be real. And you think about how different you are than the others. Do you have any thoughts as to why this could be?”

  The light from Jovil’s diamond-shaped pupils had become stronger, pulsating in and out more rapidly and with more intensity, as his determined questioning probed further.

  “I don’t know. I’m just not normal. It’s like I’m some kind of anomaly. Maybe the diamonds will reveal why?” she dared, not wanting to discuss the details of her dreams. Who knew what happened to those who delved too deeply into their emotional thoughts? Her way of thinking was not in line with the Tandro ways; that was the only certainty in this life that she did have.

  I’m really cold. Can we go to the lagoon now please?

  She crossed her fingers behind her back, hoping Jovil would respond positively to her attempt at silent conversing. Rinzal had forewarned her that the seniors preferred to communicate between minds when their energy reserves were low. And she doubted there were many activities more energy sucking than standing inside a freezing cold cave in the dark.

  Jovil stood statue still. He seemed to be waiting for her to reveal more.

  “I’m really cold,” she tried, audibly this time.

  When he made no further signs of moving, she chattered her teeth in an exaggerated manner, desperate now to display her discomfort to him.

  “Okay then Tiegal, I hear you. It’s hard not to. Let’s go and see what reaction you create in the lagoon. Something tells me it’s going to be interesting!”

  The way he spoke his words, with more lightness now, seemed to cause a shift in the energy between them. It made Tiegal smile as she followed him into the abyss of darkness. She could swear he had laughed just then. That he was more than just interested in what reaction she would create. He seemed positively excited by the prospect.

  This gave her hope. She could feel it flickering inside her; the possibility that, perhaps, she was not as misunderstood as she had always thought?

  3. The Lagoon

  As she lowered herself down the slippery metal ladder a flurry of frustrated thoughts ran through her mind:

  No one mentioned all these steps! Why isn’t this something we are warned about? That you have to climb down even further into the cave to get to the lagoon!

  Tiegal took a deep breath and twisted her neck so she could shine her eyes down to the darkness, willing her eyes to flash as brightly as was possible, desperate to see what lay in store for her down below.

  She had already descended fifty steps and now her legs were shaking violently.

  “How many more to go?” she called down to Jovil.

  Two flashing eye-lights beamed up to her in response.

  “You are half-way there now. Count down twenty more and you should start seeing the colours,” he shouted back to her.

  Only half way! Great.

  “You are stronger than you think Tiegal Eureka. Keep going.”

  Everything burned. Her hands felt as though they could catch on fire.

  Wincing, she loosened her grip on a ladder rung so she could move down to the one below, supporting her weight with the other hand in-between.

  Come on Tiegal! You can do this!

  Two inner voices echoed together in her mind. She wasn’t sure which one belonged to her and which to the lagoon master below, who was now waiting patiently in the darkness. But as she continued to descend the steep cave walls, she could feel the skin on her forehead pinching together. None of this made sense. Why was she alone on this long and increasingly treacherous journey to the lagoon? They had left at least sixty participants waiting back in the tunnel. Surely Jovil wasn’t going to endure this ordeal with each of them in turn? The ones at the end of the line would be waiting for days at this rate! Rinzal and Zeno must be going crazy waiting in anticipation for their turn.

  “And why was I chosen first?” she hissed through gritted teeth.

  “They are not going to the same lagoon as you are Tiegal. They will already be at their destination by now,” Jovil yelled up to her.

  His voice resounded across the deep cave.

  Tiegal sought him through the darkness. She could both hear and smell that she was getting closer to him. But his words frightened her – the revelation that she had been sent to an isolated area, separated from the others.

  Jovil called out to her again:

  “That’s it. Ten more steps down and you’re there. Can you see the colour glow yet?” he urged. There was a dance to his lilting tone. A part of her wanted to seek out the source for his enthusiasm – this colour glow he referred to - but she resisted turning her gaze away from the metal strips and the damp cave walls directly in front of her. It would be just her luck to fall off, right on the last few rungs.

  Five more steps Tiegal! Come on now. You’ve got this!

  The touch of Jovil’s warm hands reaching around her waist made her gasp with relief.

  “Thank you,” she breathed as he pulled her down. Her ankles wobbled and knocked together as she reached the safety of the cave floor.

  “There you go! Give your hands a really good rub together to circulate the blood flow again,” he urged before adding, “In answer to all those questions I could hear you torturing yourself with up there… you went first because you’re the only one who was made in this particular lagoon.”

  Tiegal froze. There was something in his choice of words that didn’t feel right. She could sense he was holding back.

  “By particular? Do you mean secret?” she whispered, meaning to ask the question to herself and not out loud.

  Jovil spun round in a startling flash. It was clear her question had surprised him.

  “Did you hear me think that just then?” he demanded.

  “Erm…”

  �
�Tiegal. I am not here to hurt you in any way. I want to help you. But I do need you to be honest with me.”

  “Grrr!” She stamped her feet in frustration. “I did hear you think that, sorry. I don’t mean to dig too deep into someone’s mind. The words just pop into my head!”

  Feeling reluctant to register even a hint of disappointment from him, she kept her eyes lowered. He was the lagoon master. As Rinzal had said, he was like their creator. And now she had invaded his thoughts.

  “I’m sorry,” she managed.

  “You have no need to be,” Jovil assured in a gentle tone, “nor do you need to be so fearful of me. And all these assumptions you and your friends have made about me. That I am this looming figure, or creator. Is that what you call me?”

  His deep laugh filled the cave with lively echoes. The sound bounced back warm, happy vibes, that Tiegal gladly absorbed. The temperature had dropped significantly since she had reached the end of her descent and this renewed warmth was already helping her clarify their confusing methods of communicating.

  “Of course!” she exclaimed. “Our minds are playing opposites. I always forget this.

  You heard my thoughts - the ones I should have hidden- and I heard the ones you did hide, even though I’m not supposed to be able to! I guess I really am a mix-up!” Tiegal let out a nervous giggle.

  “No, Tiegal!” Jovil exclaimed. “You’re not mixed up. You’re powerful. More than you realise. But…it wasn’t meant to happen the way it did. It was -” His voice broke off and he turned away from her, his mood taking a drastic turn.

  Tiegal shivered and hugged her arms around her chest, intense fear engulfing her once more. She was not sure she was ready to hear the rest of it, about what could have happened in the lagoon to make her this way, so different, and perhaps more powerful?

  Turning back to the ladder, she considered whether she had the strength to pull herself all the way back up again. To escape from the difficult truth Jovil was leading her towards, one that she knew would forever change the way she felt about herself…who she was… and where she came from.

  It was a mistake! It was supposed to be a safe experiment. And it was all my fault.

  Jovil’s guilty thoughts echoed in her mind. She shook her head in desperation, anxious to turn down, or turn off, this power to hear the things she was not supposed to.

  His words hurt, like a blow to the stomach that sent shock waves across her arms and legs and strangled in a knot in her throat. It made breathing almost impossible. She cupped her hands around her mouth, inhaling and exhaling as slowly as she could; a trick she had learned as a younger one to help redress the balance of carbon dioxide and oxygen in her blood whenever a panic attack threatened.

  “I was a mistake!” she nearly gagged the words as she bent her head between her knees.

  Jovil came closer to her again.

  “It’s not that you were a mistake Tiegal. It was me! I made a mistake. But don’t worry, please, all is not lost. Far from it! I have a feeling you are going to change everything. That you were an accident that was meant to happen,” he enthused.

  “What? I d…don’t understand?” she trembled.

  Tiegal can you hear me?

  She flinched in surprise. It was Jovil’s voice – his inside voice – talking to her, inviting her to converse through their deeper thoughts.

  Yes, I can. But why are you talking to me like this? I thought we were alone here?

  She channelled her anxious questions back to him.

  I think we are Tiegal, but you can never be sure of these things. And, what I have to tell you is not something I find easy to verbalise out loud. I’d rather explain it to you in this way.

  Jovil made a strange, sorrowful sound then. The strangeness of it unnerved her. She quickly raised her body to search for his face, once again reaching her hand out to the side to grab hold of a useful rock formation to steady her balance. What she saw made her feel dizzy.

  His expression looked sad - more than that - tortured by an emotion that Tiegal could sense, and smell from him, but if pressed could not find a word to describe.

  Yet it was more than just his emotional distress that had caught her off-guard, it was the sight of the coloured glow that now haloed behind him; an inviting light that danced around in swirls, dimming in and out in vibrant pulsations.

  “Where is all that glowing colour coming from?” she breathed.

  Jovil just shook his head at her and then raised his index finger to his forehead to indicate he wanted to talk in silence.

  It’s from the diamonds in the lagoon water. I’ll take you there in just a moment. It’s why I brought you here after all. But, please Tiegal, just listen to what I have to tell you before we go there. It’s something I have needed to say for a very long time.

  As Jovil’s body swayed from side to side whilst he prepared to transmit his deepest secrets to her, Tiegal noticed how the red diamond of his Derado neckpiece glowed underneath the thin white shirt he wore. She had not paid any notice to it before but now it appeared the neckpiece had come alive in the cave. That it was revealing its power in reaction to his feelings.

  Just looking at how the gemstone radiated its red glow excited her, the knowledge that soon she would receive her own, personal, Derado – her own diamond energy control centre. At least, she hoped she would receive it. If she could get past the unexpected turn of events.

  I didn’t think the Derados connected to our emotions?

  She started to transmit to Jovil.

  Tiegal, please, can we focus on one thing at a time. We will get back to the Derados, but before that, I need to check that you have been taught the basics of how the creation process works.

  She nodded at him.

  I teach it to the younger ones. They always find it quite a surprise. I do too, every time I activate the Holomac projection. But, I was hoping that seeing the lagoon would make more sense. Perhaps bring me some comfort.

  As the red diamond burned around Jovil’s neck she found herself transfixed by the allure of its glow, as his words filled her head:

  I’m not sure if what I tell you will bring you comfort but I have always believed that knowledge is power. And you, Tiegal, deserve to know the truth. That there was something in the lagoon water during your creation process, something that I believe made you more powerful, and different than all the others.

  Tiegal still couldn’t breathe properly. Her throat had closed in tighter with each second as she battled to register the words she was hearing.

  Jovil…please can we just go to the lagoon now. I want to know everything, I do, but I can’t stand being in this freezing spot any longer whilst all that colour glows behind you. It’s beckoning me to go to it… and it’s making it hard for me to breathe!

  She stumbled onto the floor gasping for breath as she let her thoughts move towards him. His hands were around her arms in an instant, pulling her up.

  “You’re right! I should have realised you would feel a connection with it when you came this close. Sorry. It was unfair of me to make you stand in the darkness like that. It’s my darkness, this guilt, not yours. We can go there now. Just hold on to my arm for support. You’re shaking!”

  As she grasped her hands around his bare arms the heat from his skin transferred through her veins. She buried her face into his biceps, desperate to fill every part of her body with his warmth. The smell of him engulfed her once more and she inhaled its comfort, suddenly aware of how holding onto him in this way made her wish she was younger and smaller again; that this tall male who smelled so familiar and warm, would look after her and protect her.

  “Just like a creator,” she mumbled into his skin.

  “Well, here it is. The lagoon,” Jovil announced. He pushed her forward with a gentle but firm maneuver.

  As she pulled her face away from him, tears instantly filled her eyes, blurring her vision of the spectacular sight before her.

  “It’s so beautiful!” she managed to s
plutter, whilst wiping her tears away and scanning the circumference of the cave surrounds. The light from her eyes danced over the colours that illuminated the cave walls, creating a stunning shimmer effect as she swung her head from left to right, to enhance the iridescence before her.

  “Look at this!” She laughed, in-between her tears.

  Jovil came to stand beside her.

  “It’s been like this ever since you emerged,” he whispered. “Look at the water Tiegal.”

  Despite knowing it was there - the glistening teal-coloured pool of water in front of her - she remained reluctant to let her eyes rest on its surface. It was as though a part of her was afraid to confront her origins, whilst another part was enjoying savouring the moment.

  Jovil made a grunting noise, clearly listening to her internal debate.

  “Okay, you look at the lagoon when you are ready. Enjoy playing with your light and the colours and I will explain as much as I can.”

  He coughed, scratching his shoes on the dusty cave flooring. The obvious unease he was experiencing was distracting, but she continued to flash her eyes side-ways as she waited for his explanation. The story of her beginning:

  “When our great ruler, Atla, first designed the lagoons, he made it clear that no one should tamper with the water. Once the carbon contributions are planted and the water is filled with diamonds no one is allowed to go near it for the nine-month period it takes for the pods to develop.”

  “Why can’t you go near it?” Tiegal whispered, still not ready to look at Jovil, or the lagoon.

  “Because water is receptive to thoughts, particularly positive ones. We can accelerate the vibrational energy in water just by being near it. Atla didn’t want that to happen at the start. He believed the diamonds in the water would provide enough energy to develop new Tandroans successfully. He reasoned that too much energy could cause problems, and…” he hesitated, “as it turns out, he was right.”

  His confession hung in the space between them, daring for one of them to push the story to its conclusion. Eventually, Tiegal spoke up: