Release Page 4

  “And so, let me guess, this is where you come in?”

  Jovil sighed. She could hear him crouching down next to her.

  “Production was going so well. Every time we increased the amount of diamonds in the lagoon, for each creation period, the better the survival rate. Not to mention how much healthier and stronger these new Tandroans were too. It was quite exciting. Each time I entered the cave after the nine-month gestation period I was amazed by how bright-eyed these newborns were. I wanted to see how much light and energy we could create for the future generations. So, I tried a little experiment, to help push things along.

  “The year you were created we planted a hundred pods, all of them full of the carbon donations of others, of which I personally vetted. This was a new lagoon I was working on to increase production… sorry, procreation.” He coughed.

  “Go on!” She urged.

  “Atla agreed I could try adding even more diamonds this time to see if we could speed up the gestation period …or perhaps even create Tandroans with a greater energy potential. I was excited by this idea. I kept having this dream…”

  He paused to take a breath. She sensed he was hoping she would react to the last part of his confession, but she could already feel a bubble of rage rising up to her throat.

  Keep talking. What happened!

  “I kept dreaming about talking to the water. I saw visions of myself sitting for hours by the lagoon, channelling positive thoughts. It was so real that I decided it was a message and I …”

  “What did your dream tell you would happen if you did this?” Tiegal interrupted.

  “I knew you would understand this.”

  Jovil stood up and walked in front of her so she was forced to face him.

  “You really believe in dreams Tiegal? That they are more than just jumbled up memories playing back to us?” he urged, running his hands through his thick black hair, which shone from the coloured lights surrounding them.

  “I experience the dreams as though I am there. I can feel, hear and smell everything. It’s not a case of believing in them. I live them,” she answered.

  “The male across the river you always think about?”

  “Yes! But, that’s not important right now. What did your dream of this lagoon tell you?”

  “That I was meant to do this…to interfere with the vibrations of the water with my thoughts. I didn’t experience it like you described. It was more like a viewing dream, but it kept coming to me, and I just kept hearing the same words.”

  “What words?”

  “That there will be a powerful one, a female. And she will emerge from this lagoon

  and one day she will transform everything.”

  As soon as he finished his sentence the water in the lagoon burst into life, bubbling like a hot spa, enticing them to turn their attention to its excitement. Tiegal, without realizing she was doing it, raised her hand up in the direction of the water and motioned up and down. The water stilled in an instant.

  “What happened when you sneaked in here to talk to the water?” she demanded.

  “Nothing at first. I noticed the diamonds seemed to glow more than usual when I talked to them but everything else seemed normal. It was only on the last day, before the pods were due to emerge, and I could see them rising just under the surface, that I noticed the change in the water, how it fizzed and spat. I knew then that it was over-charged. I backed away and came back with Atla and the others to witness the opening but when the pods arose and opened… they were ruined,” he stammered.

  “The babies had died?” Tiegal flashed her eyes at him.

  “All but one,” he answered her carefully.

  Tiegal nodded at him. She had heard his thoughts a few seconds before he uttered the words from his mouth. There were no more surprises coming her way. The truth had been delivered. Now she finally knew what she had been searching for: who she was and where she came from.

  With her right hand she reached out to press her palm to Jovil’s arm.

  “You don’t need to feel shame about this. I can smell your pain and it’s not justified. Atla created this new world and this new procreation process. You thought you could help create an even greater future, full of Tandroans that were so abundant with diamond energy that they would live forever,” she reasoned with him.

  “But it went very wrong. It was too much. I had tampered with the vibrations…over-cooked them!” He cast his eyes downwards, his lights danced on the cave floor.

  “And I was the only one to survive?” she checked.

  “Yes.” He seemed to hesitate at first, but then he looked her straight in the eye and stated:

  “You were the only one.”

  Tiegal sighed. Her body felt weighed down with all these revelations. A sadness swept over her as she walked over to the water. The very place from where she now knew she had survived what no other Tandroan had; a power too great for them to sustain.

  Or did I take all the energy? Was that why they all died around me? Because of what I can do?

  Without pausing to think about the consequences she took off her grey cloak, kicked off her boots, and then, only wearing her thin cream jumpsuit, she stepped in to the lagoon. The water bubbled furiously in response to her entry. Jovil screamed for her to, “Get out”, but she ignored him. Her heart raced and her whole body shook. Still, she could not stop herself from moving forward. The water seemed to be calling for her.

  Taking a deep breath, she turned away from Jovil’s anguished calls and then swan-dived under the water. Her eyes instantly lit up the dark bed of the lagoon, making it easier to scan her surroundings. It was deeper than she had expected, but it only took three strokes before she reached the bottom. And there she sat herself down, watching in amazement, as hundreds of different coloured diamonds arose all around her, glowing their fluorescent magic in response to her return.

  4. Light

  Tiegal sensed fury and fear. The hairs on the back of her neck bristled. Since yanking her out of the lagoon and ordering her to climb back up the ladder Jovil had not said a word. The unnerving noise he had made during the steep climb back was a strange animal-like sound from inside his mouth; a combination of teeth grinding mixed with a growling noise that grated on her. It was only when they had made their way back down the tunnel and found a resting spot on some rocks at the entrance of the cave that he quieted.

  Taking a deep breath, she finally resolved to push him for more answers:

  “How did you explain the deaths of all those pods to Atla?”

  Jovil nodded and gave a little shrug, wiping the sweat off his brow.

  “If you must know, that part was easy. Atla knew it was an experiment. He just assumed we had included too many diamonds into the water. And, that we had planted a smaller batch of pods than we usually did. I don’t think he felt any great loss. Getting carbon donations is not difficult.” He yawned, shaking his hair out in front of him to rid it of excess lagoon water. Tiegal flinched as she heard his frustrated thoughts pounding through his mind; his fury at how she had made him come in and rescue her.

  I didn’t need rescuing. I can breathe for a long time underwater. I’ve always been able to.

  She wasn’t sure if Jovil was listening to her inner voice, or if he was, he was choosing to ignore her protests.

  “The lagoon at the other side of the cave is much larger. That’s where your friends, Rinzal and Zeno, went earlier. They were made in the other lagoon, like everyone is these days. No one goes near your lagoon anymore. And clearly no one should. I thought the lagoon was going to explode the way it reacted to you Tiegal. You must never do anything like that again!” he scolded, still catching his breath after their frantic scramble up the ladder.

  Folding her arms in defiance she watched him gasping for air, surprised at how such a strong and able man would need to source more oxygen after what now seemed like an easy feat. Climbing back up the steep ladder had been a joy for her this time, like a release in pent-u
p energy. In fact, the way her muscles had responded to the physical challenge – contracting and relaxing with such rhythmic ease – had fascinated her. And when they reached the top, she had wanted to push her body even more, to test this new strength she suspected the lagoon water had given her. Even now, as she stood before him, her breathing easy in comparison to his, her body buzzed with power.

  “So, are you going to tell me why you brought me here today?” she pushed. Jovil nodded again.

  “To tell the truth! To see how you are. To check if you are struggling with this extra energy that I was complicit in giving you,” he answered, managing an apologetic smile. “Are you? Apart, that is, from your mixed-up mind-reading abilities and limitations,” he teased, giving her a wink. His shock and anger appeared to have already simmered.

  The sound of her own laughter made her jump in surprise. It was a happy sound like none she had ever made before; one full of joy, like a carefree birdsong. A sound that evoked the feeling of freedom and balance.

  Like the way I feel when I am in the dream bubble, near the male across the river.

  Just thinking of him now had a sudden, physical effect on her. A strange heat burned between her hips, an urge, a burning desire to be close to him in a way she could not understand. Self-consciously she raised her hand to her lips and sighed.

  “Sometimes, yes, I do feel torn by something. It’s not easy being so unusual. All my senses are so much stronger than everyone else. I smell things with more intensity than the others do. Sometimes, I even taste words. And then, there are the dreams, and the feelings, the yearnings that I know I’m not supposed to have. I’ve never understood why I have all these wants and desires that none of you seem to have…”

  “Like what?” Jovil quizzed. He had got his breath back now and seemed relaxed chatting with her as he leaned on the sign that had welcomed her and the other young Tandroans to their pre-release day.

  Perhaps it was this – the way he stood before he with such ease - that lulled Tiegal into a false security, that encouraged her to reveal more of her desires to him. The thoughts that, despite her limitations, she had been able to hide until now.

  “I want to feel affection, to know what it is like to be touched. To make a real connection with someone. I want to feel love,” she confessed. Her fingernails pinched into the skin of her palms as she waited to see his reaction.

  Jovil grabbed both her arms, almost shaking her. He looked frantic with worry again.

  “No Tiegal! It’s not our way. Atla forbids it.” He sounded alarmed, frightened even.

  “But why? Why do we all have to live as single units and only protect our own energy, our own fire? Wouldn’t we burn brighter if we could light each other’s fires? Our desires?” she pleaded with him. Just saying the words out loud was a huge release, as though she had been holding back all of her life and was only now finally breathing as she was supposed to.

  Jovil shook his head at her and then threw his arms in the air in such a furious manner that she felt compelled to step back from him, unsure of where his anger was directed.

  “Because if you even try to do something like that…any kind of intimacy… with someone, then I can guarantee that both your fires will be stamped out. Atla will see to it.”

  A vein on his forehead throbbed and he wrung his hands together.

  Seeing him so distraught was too much and she threw her arms around him, ignoring the way his shoulders twitched at the shocking sensation of her gesture.

  “Why though Jovil? Have you never questioned why Atla is so against us making connections and bonds with each other? We grow up learning of the beauty and strength of the diamonds that gave us our energy and our eye-light. And yet the very reason why a diamond is so strong and can reflect such incredible light is because of its tightly-bonded carbon atoms! We should be embracing these parallels we share with diamonds. Perhaps we would become even stronger, and brighter, if we did! I mean, think about it Jovil, I know you are a senior, the lagoon master, but you are also a child of diamonds. You too were born in diamond water!”

  “But Atla isn’t even one of us! He doesn’t have the diamond-shaped pupils that pulsate light and he can’t read minds like we can. And yet we all follow him like robots, under his control, never listening to our needs and desires – what our energy wants us to share with others!” She shouted her rant out over his shoulders, her warm breath releasing mist into the cooler early evening air. Jovil pulled away from her, buried his face into his hands, and then let out a frustrated growl.

  “Oh my, this is worse than I feared. What have I done? Tiegal you can’t let anyone else hear such thoughts. You could get yourself killed with this kind of thinking. Atla is the one who created this new world for us, so we could live across these beautiful islands, and thrive, and grow for longer, and be healthier than any generation in our world has ever lived before.”

  “If it is a creator you seek then you should look to Atla, not me. You need to respect him Tiegal because if you don’t then I can promise you this - you will be destroyed.”

  He stepped forward then, his hands clasped together in front of her as though willing her to agree with him, to promise him that she would be a faithful Tandroan and bury such treacherous thoughts.

  “Jovil, I’m sorry but I just don’t think I can keep respecting this life. Not after today. Not after what I have seen, heard, and experienced in that water. My heart wants, it needs, something more than this. I sometimes feel like I’m breathing in the wrong atmosphere and it suffocates me. I know you are scared for me Jovil but I’m not sure I want to live this way. Not if it means enduring this loneliness. This lack of oxygen…” she trailed off at the sound of repetitive drum beats ahead.

  Jovil nodded at her. They both knew the beats signalled they would have to leave each other now, to meet the members of their respective camps. Supper would soon commence.

  “I feel like I have known you forever. You were familiar to me from the moment I saw you,” she whispered sadly, aware that she would have to separate from him now, this figure who represented a security – the scent of a warm, fresh, blanket.

  “I thought I smelled of coconut, orange and bonfire?” Jovil mused as he listened to her thoughts.

  “You do. But you also make me feel safe, hence why I was thinking of the smell of a soft blanket,” she giggled.

  “I can live with that,” he smiled, “but can you promise me something before you go?”

  “I will try,” she promised.

  “Well, two things please. First, that you will work hard to conceal your deeper thoughts from others. You, more than anyone on Tandro needs to learn to do this. I cannot stress this enough. And, secondly, that you please be careful on your Release Day. After seeing how the diamonds in the water reacted to you in the cave, I fear for what will occur when you receive your Derado.”

  He gave her a long, flickering stare.

  “I will do my best, I promise. But won’t you be there? On my Release Day?” she queried, already feeling a tightness in her chest. The way he was talking indicated he would be leaving for a long time, and even though they had only known each other for a few hours, she felt as bonded to him as she did to Zeno and Rinzal, perhaps even more.

  Jovil breathed a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry Tiegal, but I have to leave now to get back to the Jarm Island for the forthcoming match. We need to find more contributors for the next creation period. But I will come and find you and check up on you - and soon,” he promised.

  Tiegal bit down on her lip, determined not to let her tears betray her again. He turned to walk away, but then swung himself round to face her once more.

  “Ugh! I’m probably going to regret this, but I can’t bear to leave you feeling you are alone in this world like this. Because you’re not Tiegal. Look, I don’t know how much you know about the old-world ways, and I don’t want to encourage your yearnings, but I will tell you this. The ones who lived before us were very different in the way they inter
acted with each other, almost opposite to the Tandroan ways. You see, they encouraged the forming of bonded groups. They actively sought family units, and they procreated in the bodily ways.” He stammered and covered a nervous cough with his clenched fist. “Humph… between each other. So that the females, the mother, bore the children and the male was named a father and…”

  “Yes! That’s what you are. The father of me!” Tiegal interrupted, clapping her hands together in little beats.

  The way Jovil’s face contorted, so that he had to cover his mouth to hide the huge smile that had broken out on it, confirmed that they had already formed a strong bond.

  “And I thought you would hate me when you knew what I had done with the water.”

  He kicked at a pebble near his shoe.

  Tiegal threw her arms around him once again:

  “I could never hate someone who smells of happy and safe.”

  With great reluctance she let go of her grasp on him, turned away without a glance backwards, and then broke into a run, heading in the direction of the drum beats and back to her camp.

  It was only as she approached the decked entrance to her camp’s kitchen area, where the smell of pineapple mixed with rice and beans engulfed her, that a terrifying thought entered her mind:

  I missed something back there! There was another scent in the cave. And it wasn’t mine or Jovil’s. Someone else must have been there!

  Biting her lip, she rocked on her ankles, torn between moving forward to take her place with Rinzal at the supper table, and rushing back to find Jovil – to warn him that they had not been alone in the cave of her origins after all.

  But just as she was about to turn back to the cave, two hands pressed down on her shoulders. The voice of her camp leader boomed its annoyance into her ear, “In you go Tiegal Eureka. Supper has already commenced.”

  5. Mint

  Tiegal hurried along the sandy pathway which connected her sleeping camp with the elephant compound. Rinzal was only a few feet ahead of her but she didn’t dare to shout out to him. They had already exchanged awkward looks during supper.